2 Counsellors

*Two counsellors are at the office party, are a little drunk, and have been flirting at work for the last few months.*

Counsellor Y: I love you.
Counsellor Z: Eep! I love you too. You are such an amazing person.
Y: You are the only person who thinks that. I appreciate that. I am not though.
Z: You’re not what?
Y: An amazing person. I’m actually pretty terrible. I can be a right prick.
Z: Well, you are actually very good and besides, you aren’t as terrible as I am.
Y: I am. I will show you one day but I hope I never do.
Z: I can’t imagine it. You are kind and generous.
Y: And I jump to conclusions and feel resentful about things in my past.
Z: Don’t we all. Don’t beat yourself up. You’ll just get depressed.
Y: And you might not able to help when I feel depressed.
Z: I can try. I care about you so much.
Y: If only you cared about yourself that much.
Z: Then I would be happier I guess.
Y: You should work on things to make you happier.
Z: I can’t think of anything. I have no good qualities.
Y: Socialise more.
Z: Maybe, maybe not, I get very anxious when I’m alone.
Y: Yeah but you feel happy around me.
Z: Well I think about you a lot when you’re not around.
Y: But don’t feel happy?
Z: I do but it depends what else is going on.
Y: I feel happy when I’m alone I wish I could share that with you.
Z: You can. I want to see you happy.
Y: I get petulant with other people.
Z: I can’t imagine you being petulant.
Y: Well I have been in the past.
Z: My past has been difficult.
Y: The past is overrated. Just another thing to feel bad about. You’ve got the present and the future.
Z: My past is my everything. It’s completely valid.
Y: I’m jumping to conclusions that you’re jumping conclusions about something I said.
Z: I don’t know what you mean.
Y: I can’t explain.
Z: I want some support about my past trauma.
Y: So how did it make you feel?
Z: Traumatised!
Y: We should look at it another way. Maybe there’s nothing wrong with being traumatised?
Z: Nothing apart from the trauma, the lifetime of pain, and the flashbacks. No there obviously nothing wrong it.
Y: Let me rephrase that…
Z: You just like me being traumatised. You prick.
Y: I thought you thought I was an amazing person?
Z: Well you were before you started being a prick.
Y: I warned you I was a terrible person.
Z: You were right.
Y: I was right as usual.
Z: Prick.