First Love

I need to drown in your smile again
Your beauty untouched by cynicism
Don’t let me grind you down

My guilt and anxiety
Cleaves at me
Unwanted thievery
As I learned your ways

You taught me hope
And hope lifts me up
For that day tomorrow
That day that never comes

Stunned into inaction
A feeble attempt at living
You’d call it genuine
When I’d ruin the party

A horse walks past my kitchen
After the apples on my trees
You might’ve cooked for me
If I were a boy again
There’d be no problem
Upsetting at the table

Your undying heart never left me
I sank into myself
With those fragments I stole
Your sparkle and spirit
Saves me from myself
Always indebted
Always yours